PDA

View Full Version : International Security Levels


Redex R
29-01-10, 00:48 AM
Shamelessly stolen from another forum :D

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats
and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon,
though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A
Bit Cross." Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when
tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from
"Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a
"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.


Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralysing the country's military capability.


It's not only the British and French that are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly"
to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to
"Dress in Uniform" and "Sing Marching Songs"." They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."


Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual and the only threat
they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.


The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy
can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Harsh
29-01-10, 01:11 AM
:D

Redex R
29-01-10, 08:16 AM
Apparantly the Irish are insisting on an EU grant before doing anything and the Icelandic members are holding a referendum to decide.

Meanwhile regionally in mainland Britain down in the Westcountry they feel a little removed from things and are settling for a status of "Get On" , the Geordies are going for "Wye Aye" and in Liverpool the are changing from "Sound" to "Aaaarh Aaayy". In Surrey they are still working out how to switch off the 4WD off in their Range Rovers after the snow before they can get into work to deliberate on things.